A Meeting of the Minds
The Importance of Like-minded Peers for Gifted Children
by Tracy Riley, Vanessa White, Janna Wardman, Carola Sampson and Deborah Walker
The Importance of Like-minded Peers for Gifted Children
by Tracy Riley, Vanessa White, Janna Wardman, Carola Sampson and Deborah Walker
Connectedness is a fundamental need among humans. It is the sense of belonging that comes from the bonds within a reciprocal relationship. Through reciprocity, acceptance, value, and importance are bestowed on all involved, company is enjoyed, and the needs for companionship and support are met. The New Zealand Education Review Office highlights the strong link between connectedness and well-being, and in turn, achievement.
Opportunities for connectedness come in various settings, for example; at home, on the marae, at church, at clubs, within the regular classroom, in the playground, within withdrawal programmes, in regular school or through extra curricula activities. Furthermore, connectedness is underpinned by different commonalities, such as; family ties, being in the same class or year group, having shared interests or goals, having similar ways of thinking and/or similarities in ways of responding to the world. It is important to note that there is individual variance with regards to the preference for one or two close friends or a larger number.
Within the school context, opportunities for making connections and the potential for developing friendships can be limited for gifted learners. Many factors contribute to this: the way learners are grouped, the types of provisions and programmes which are on offer, how they can be accessed, as well as how pastoral care is provided. Underlying each of these is the culture of the school with its varying leadership, teacher, peer, whanau and community expectations. Moreover, the degree of giftedness, asynchrony, number and types of exceptionalities, culture, gender, age, personal differences in temperament, abilities, qualities and interests all play significant roles.
Unfortunately, there are some common misunderstandings about gifted and talented learners. Vialle, Heaven and Ciarrochi of Wollongong University found that these learners are often perceived by teachers as being content, while the young persons themselves may not feel that they have the peership they need among others of a similar age, with their social and emotional needs remaining unrecognised. If this is the case for your child, it is important that you, or someone who knows your son or daughter well, open dialogue with his or her teacher about these needs so that they can be better understood and supported.
Opportunities for connectedness come in various settings, for example; at home, on the marae, at church, at clubs, within the regular classroom, in the playground, within withdrawal programmes, in regular school or through extra curricula activities. Furthermore, connectedness is underpinned by different commonalities, such as; family ties, being in the same class or year group, having shared interests or goals, having similar ways of thinking and/or similarities in ways of responding to the world. It is important to note that there is individual variance with regards to the preference for one or two close friends or a larger number.
Within the school context, opportunities for making connections and the potential for developing friendships can be limited for gifted learners. Many factors contribute to this: the way learners are grouped, the types of provisions and programmes which are on offer, how they can be accessed, as well as how pastoral care is provided. Underlying each of these is the culture of the school with its varying leadership, teacher, peer, whanau and community expectations. Moreover, the degree of giftedness, asynchrony, number and types of exceptionalities, culture, gender, age, personal differences in temperament, abilities, qualities and interests all play significant roles.
Unfortunately, there are some common misunderstandings about gifted and talented learners. Vialle, Heaven and Ciarrochi of Wollongong University found that these learners are often perceived by teachers as being content, while the young persons themselves may not feel that they have the peership they need among others of a similar age, with their social and emotional needs remaining unrecognised. If this is the case for your child, it is important that you, or someone who knows your son or daughter well, open dialogue with his or her teacher about these needs so that they can be better understood and supported.
Kearney from Chicago’s Northwestern University Centre for Talent Development highlights another common misconception; the view that many gifted and talented children lack confidence or the ability to socialise well, or a perception of immaturity. Often this is more about the environmental context the child has been seen in. In addition it may be due to a limited understanding of giftedness and talent on behalf of the person making this inference. Opportunities for connectedness with other like-minded individuals or groups provide the chance to converse with depth, interest and understanding that may not have otherwise been possible. This brings with it the fortuity to see the abilities and qualities of the gifted learner in a different light. Settings where like-minded connections are made provide scope for gifted learners to practice social and emotional skills in a situation where strengths and interests underpin the context of socialising together.
Our research team has been working on a New Zealand-based study investigating what ‘like-mindedness’ means and the importance of ‘like-minded peers’. This has been conducted with a small group of students 12-13 years of age. Like-mindedness was identified as learning, thinking and feeling in a similar way, with like-minded peers being considered by the research participants as their friends. The findings highlight the value gifted and talented learners place on friendships. Key characteristics of what these young people seek in friendships have been identified. These include having similar levels of intelligence, the ability to hold an intelligent conversation and those whose company is enjoyable. Common references to characteristics of giftedness were made, such as a depth of caring, willingness to listen, ability to understand one another, and the importance of having a high standard of morals. Most of the participants’ closest friends have been identified as gifted, with these friendships carried on between classroom environments; the participants’ regular classrooms as well as the one-day-a-week programme. Interestingly though, the friendships do not always cross over into their home lives, with none of the boys socialising together outside of school.
The study also identified stressors and a variety of coping strategies which are employed when sufficient levels of like-minded peership is not available. Each of the students had experienced some difficulties developing peer relationships, and it seems they used their intellect to analyse and seek solutions to their problems. The strategies included: being content within themselves; finding solo activities of interest, like reading; seeking ways of developing peer relationships through family and community activities; selectively limiting the number of engaging peers at any given time or imagining a different scene. Each of these ways of coping creatively and intellectually engaged the students who were very able to articulate their struggles and how these were overcome. Some of these coping behaviours may appear to an observer as social-ineptness if their function is unknown, however, as shown through the voices of the children, this is not necessarily an accurate appraisal. This perspective may simply represent the need for connection and a feeling of fit. Successful social interaction is much more likely if those conversing possess a similar depth of knowledge and understanding in a shared interest, or as one child participating in the study expressed, if the conversation was ‘intelligent’.
The study also identified stressors and a variety of coping strategies which are employed when sufficient levels of like-minded peership is not available. Each of the students had experienced some difficulties developing peer relationships, and it seems they used their intellect to analyse and seek solutions to their problems. The strategies included: being content within themselves; finding solo activities of interest, like reading; seeking ways of developing peer relationships through family and community activities; selectively limiting the number of engaging peers at any given time or imagining a different scene. Each of these ways of coping creatively and intellectually engaged the students who were very able to articulate their struggles and how these were overcome. Some of these coping behaviours may appear to an observer as social-ineptness if their function is unknown, however, as shown through the voices of the children, this is not necessarily an accurate appraisal. This perspective may simply represent the need for connection and a feeling of fit. Successful social interaction is much more likely if those conversing possess a similar depth of knowledge and understanding in a shared interest, or as one child participating in the study expressed, if the conversation was ‘intelligent’.
These findings emphasise the need to increase opportunities to find others who learn, think and feel in similar ways to ensure the well-being of these young people. It then follows that connections with like-minded others not only provide the chance for students to be challenged in their thinking, learning through this, but that the increased well-being that comes from such connections helps to support these children to be more successful in school and more accomplished in life generally. With regards to school in particular, the research findings accentuate the need for flexible grouping (including ability grouping), inclusion of competitions among like-minded peers, and provision of opportunities for individual as well as peer to peer learning in the regular classroom setting.
As parents and whanau it is our role to work with the school and our children to reduce any barriers to forming supportive peer relationships, striving to create more opportunities for connection. If we have the privilege of being able to select which school our child/ren attends we can take into consideration the culture of the school; specifically if there is a ‘culture of care’ where diversity is valued and nurtured. Likewise it is good to be able to determine if these values are also held by the classroom teacher your child will have. Furthermore, this is particularly pertinent if you are able to plan with a current teacher for the purposes of transitioning your child from one year level to another or between schools, or between school and other programmes, especially as transitions are a known point of increased stress for many gifted learners where additional support is often required. |
It is useful to ascertain how learners’ academic and social-emotional needs will be identified and met. This is particularly relevant as gifted and talented identification processes vary between schools, as do the provisions for those who are identified. When enrolling your child, some things to think about when visiting the school and talking with educators might be:
- How gifted and talented learners are identified; individuals and groups
- How the school supports identity development: as gifted and talented learners, as gifted Māori or Pasifika students etc.
- What provisions the school offers for children requiring a faster pace of learning and/or who enjoy complexity and depth
- How learners are grouped
- In what ways the school shows inclusion of gifted learners, particularly if some gifted learners are in full-time grouping within the school setting
- What options are available to foster students’ interests and learning within and beyond the regular classroom
- Whether social and emotional skills are included in the curriculum through explicit teaching
- What sort of pastoral care is provided and how students are guided to seek support
Like-mindedness however, goes beyond age-peers, as those who learn, think and feel in similar ways may be family members, mentors, others who are much younger or older than themselves and who may not traditionally be considered peers. This raises the question of how we can develop additional opportunities for our children to mix with like-minded others within the school context and beyond.
Over and above advocating at school for support, we can identify other avenues to afford connectivity with like-minds outside of school. Some examples of this are:
- inviting your son or daughter’s friends over for ‘play-dates’ or encouraging them to have times together doing things outside of school;
- encouraging your child to join clubs or organisations relevant to the young person’s interests and/or which demonstrates the values important to your young person;
- getting like-minded family members together who may not see each other very often;
- identifying safe forums online for your child to connect with others who share common interests;
- participating in events run by the New Zealand Association for Gifted Children;
- finding an experienced, older student or adult who shares similar interests and abilities who is happy to mentor your child;
- attending seminars or lectures in an area of strength and interest;
- introducing your child to an expert in the field relevant to their interests.
The importance of time with like-minded peers must not be understated. To have the opportunity to feel truly connected with others, to find one’s fit, and have a sense of satisfaction of being in one’s own skin is fundamental to strengthening one’s identity, self-acceptance, belonging, and well-being. These reasons on their own make the effort to support your child in making these connections a priority, but added to the knowledge that well-being is vital to success and that connectedness has been shown to have a close relationship to motivation, resilience, perfectionism, failure avoidance, self-sabotage and underachievement, it would seem that like-mindedness is not only important, but imperative.
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Originally published in Tall Poppies, volume 40, number 1, 2015. Reproduced with permission from the New Zealand Association for Gifted Children (NZAGC) and my co-authors. Tall Poppies magazine is published three times a year and posted out to all members of NZAGC. |